my name is ann-marie, and i’m a control freak.

it has been said that the early days and weeks of marriage bring out the truth about your spouse. but i didn’t quite expect to have the truth about myself revealed, as well. being single until the age of thirty-four brought with it its ups and downs. from the days of feeling lonely, sad, and unlovable to the days of feeling free, independent, and happy with singledom, i’d felt it all. and somewhere along the way i became set in my ways. oh, so very set. living alone, i’d gotten used to my things staying where i put them and my apartment looking the way i wanted it to look.

those days are long gone. not only are we still living among the boxes and piles of stuff about which we say, “we’ll deal with that later”, but we’re learning just how differently the other one handles that fact. and through these past few weeks, i have come to realize that my expectations of the state of the apartment haven’t changed from what they were when i lived alone. and that’s just plain unrealistic.

this is not my way of saying that david is a slob. he simply has a more relaxed attitude toward daily life. it isn
t wrong or bad; its just different from what i am used to. and yet it has, at times, driven me batty. just as the fact that i am a tidier-than-thou neatnik has driven him up and down every wall in the place.

so this is me, admitting that i may be more like monica geller than even i would like to be, telling my husband that i love him always, and apologizing in advance for any time i get my nose out of joint just because his socks haven’t found their way to the hamper. all i ask is that he is patient with me, too.


Alli said...

I love reading your experience of the first month of marriage. And am very glad to know that you guys still have boxes too. The thing that gets me is that EVERYTHING about setting up an apartment together involves a decision to be made...usually one we don't agree on easily. It is exhausting!! Worth it, but exhausting...

melissa said...

"tidier-than-thou" = me laughing so hard i almost peed my pants. ah, marital bliss. you've officially joined the ranks! on a serious note, it wasn't so long ago that we were unpacking our own boxes/taking trips to chipotle, the crate&barrel returns desk, target, dear-god-ANYwhere-but-our-apartment-where -we-must-face-the-boxes. i feel your pain, and i also know full well (and am STILL learning) about the differences between two people who may love each other very much but are still very different when it comes to managing their space and time under the same roof. if you need to talk, i'm here. if you need to vent, i'm your gal. or if you just need to get away from those stupid boxes and not think about them for an hour or two...i make a mean cosmo. ;)

simplicity said...

definitely don't miss the days of boxes, returns and all that.

marriage is work. but so so worth it.

believe me, adjusting to life as a single college graduate turned married stepmother to two was quite the adjustment...but somehow it flies by.

mar said...

i may not be married yet, but you should hear me turn into my mother when stephen is driving my car!

audrey said...

boxes boxes and more boxes! its a joy of getting married, merging two living spaces, many lovely gifts, and one that you have to live with every time you move:)

it seems like every time we've done so in our almost 6 years of marriage, audrey-the-control-freak comes out to play, too. i do think i've mellowed a bit with time and each move - and mark has learned what to just leave for me to do, rather than finding it "corrected" later:)